Don’t drink and drive. That is your best chance of never getting a DUI/DWI. However, I have tried many things to keep people from getting behind the wheel after have too much to drink, but it keeps happening. According to stats from MADD, 1.4 million people were arrested for driving under the influence in 2010 alone. That’s a staggering number especially considering that many are never even pulled over. But if you do find yourself looking at cop cars in your rearview after having a some drinks, let me provide you with your best plan to sidestep a charge.

Pull Your Wits Together

Silly advice, but if you can get yourself centered and ready for the task in front of you, you’ll have a better chance than just surviving on instinct. It might not keep you from falling down or slurring your words, but just get your game face together.

Be Polite

Police have a hard job and if you show them that you are cool and reasonable, things will go much better for you than acting a fool. Say “yes, sir” and “yes, ma’am”. You don’t have to kiss up to them, but just be easy to deal with.

Don’t Take (FSTs)

FSTs are Field Sobriety Tests, such as walking a straight line, touching your nose with your eyes closed, saying your alphabet, counting backward from 25, and other basic motor skills challenges. Be polite and respectful, but decline them. Tell them your that your uncle is a cop and he told you not to. It is perfectly legal to decline these. Everyone in the legal system knows that these tests are flawed and biased, but they will be on camera and the prosecutor will get to use them, so don’t make their case against you for them.

You MUST Take a Chemical Test

When you applied for a driver’s license you signed away your consent to take a chemical test if pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving. So you have to take either a urine, breath, or blood test. If you don’t, you can and most certainly will be fined and your license will be suspended even if you are not found guilty of driving under the influence. Don’t mess around here. Take a test.

But don’t take just any one they give you, and certainly don’t take the breathalyzer test. While the breathalyzer can be the easiest one to discredit, since they there are so many things that can go wrong with a machine, such as false positives, they are also drawn immediately at the scene. The problem with this is that time helps you to sober up, and breathalyzer tests don’t give you any time. The blood test is your best bet. It takes the longest to set up and also has some chain of custody issues that can be helpful.

Now just don’t drink and drive. There is really never a reason to anyway.